Comment on the REWRITE - Act. 1

[Death Soldier]

It's pretty good ;D Keep working on it... is that girl at the start with Luna Minako?

[Digital Leonardo]

^^You'll have to see~

[sailorfire]

very good... romance, tragedy and mystery... wonder who the mystery person is. ..

[Chibi Jen]

Woah... exciting ^_^

That girl is definately Minako! Lol.. There's no doubt about it.. the description of her hair colour, the red bow, the uniform (without the bow, but a tie) and is even referred to as the "Princess" XD

Queen Beryl: I have aged over these long 2000 years… Waiting for my precious nutsennou to awake from the deep sleep that retched queen placed on them and all my youma…

This is interesting... It's not the same as the original

Blue: Queen Beryl!
Green: We have to protect the Princess!
Orange: Ready senshi!

Red nodded and held up her hand a ball of fire flew out and up to Queen Beryl.

Haha.. I feel so good as a reader to know what's actually happening and who they are..lol

Jadeite: I will set up a famous clothing shop to be a low price sale, no girl, not even Sailor Moon, can resist this.

hahaa... FUNNY!!

She closed her eyes, she saw a women with long blond hair scream firing a gold disk at her. She opened her eyes looking at the coffin.

Sailormoon? O.o?

Naru: It’s a 50% off sale… I think we might move. Mom never has a 50% sale unless something bad is going to happen. Usagi I don’t know what to do!

I like this.. it makes it seem more realistic

Really good, I enjoyed that. Just a few minor spelling errors such as "sing" instead of "sign" and "Cloths" instead of "clothes"

The stopped at a door

"They"

Let my introduce

"me"

V: I see the Dark Kingdom has been reawakened, and I, CODE NAME SAILOR V, will be the one to stop it once again!

lol.. seems like you wanna make V the heroine this time ^_^

*Phew.. I'm done with reading..hehe.. I should be studying at this point ^_~ I hope you like the feedback.

[Digital Leonardo]

Thanks Jen~ I love those who good indepth. Yes I know errors over error thats why I got myself an editor! You guys were my test subjects!

Once I get all the errors will be removed, I will fix my posts and add epiosde 2 and 3! When you guys are done all your test I would love for some tips when my episodes come out^^

Yeah... I want Sailor V to get some glory... and what do people think of the 'princess' and luna working together?

[Chibi Jen]

Umm.. I'm not too sure if there's going to be an "Artemis" or not...lol

I think V already has glory ^^ In fact.. I also found Usagi to be quite lacking the qualities that make her likable.. o.o

I liked her character (personality) more in Live Action, than she appears here. I mean she's nice and all.. with the beginning talking to Naru, but then she becomes too overally scared? o.O

Her mother disappointed her head not even wanting to talk to her.

This didn't seem very friendly ^_^