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Post by Digital Leonardo on Aug 21, 2004 21:19:07 GMT 10
A poem I had to write for English class that I really like. It came out way better then I wanted and then I had to read it out to the whole class and half of them were like 'A Sai?' but for people who don't know a Sai is a japanese weapon. A dager like weapon with three points, characters like Mileena from Mortal Kombat, Electra from Daredevil and one of the Ninja Turtels uses them. They usally come in twos. Silver Sai Sharp and Sly Strung along the Samuri Sliceing through the Star lite Sky Weild it well or you may Die
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Post by sailorfire on Aug 22, 2004 2:07:44 GMT 10
it is nice.... except it should be Silver Sai Sharp and Sly Strung along the Samurai Sliceing through the Star light Sky Wield it well or you may Die oh and d id i mention i like the sharp and sly part???
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Post by Sakura on Aug 22, 2004 2:31:37 GMT 10
just a few typos.. ::)sf...there's nothing wrong with it. ^_^" I think it's really good, I could never write something like that for my english class..^_^" lol.
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Post by Chibi Jen on Aug 22, 2004 18:49:44 GMT 10
Pretty neat little poem. I havent written them in years XD I like the "S" Sounds- nice effect.
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Death Soldier
Dark Cosmic Moderator
The Dark Soldier
Posts: 2,386
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Post by Death Soldier on Aug 22, 2004 20:00:36 GMT 10
The poem sound great Digilee! I like the Rhythm and use of alliteration 'S', I can almost picture the sharpness of the poem I agree with you sakura9566, it's ok....Sailorfire. Besides, you didn't pick up "Sliceing " either.
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Post by Digital Leonardo on Aug 26, 2004 17:07:42 GMT 10
I ment 'Lite' and not 'Light' you like the 'Sky is Lite with dozens of stars'
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Post by sailorfire on Aug 27, 2004 5:06:48 GMT 10
ok... umm it is just that i have a bad habit of correcting things when i see them. my teacher told me that i could become a good proofreader one day... whoopsies then! sorry!!! 0.o
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Blu
Innocent Moderator
Also known as : Ari
Cagalli x Athrun
Posts: 1,053
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Post by Blu on Aug 27, 2004 17:40:57 GMT 10
lol its 'lit' - - not 'lite'
but who cares... its english... new words are made everyday ^^
I like the 'S' throughout there. This poem makes me go back to my old Raphael obsession now... The gold old days when cartoons weren't just cheap remakes... ^^
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Post by Digital Leonardo on Sept 16, 2004 12:15:58 GMT 10
This was for the first day of English class... She gave us 10 min to write something with the title "FIRST DAY" everyone did First Day of school... except me^^ It had to be 20 lines so I sort of fleshed things out... I thought it was an original idea, but that may just be me First Day A bright light, Hard... Solid... Everything is BATHED in light, Hands pull, harnese me, Screams of pain, a voice, "Push," "Push," "Push!" I try to open my eyes, The light is strong, I miss the darkness... Coldness, Tears, Embrace, Wires, cords, attached to me... Air pumped into me... A man stands watching me, then a women, Mommy? This is my very first day, ever Of Life
Teacher Comment: 'a very imaginative account - your spacing, rhythum work well!'
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Post by Sakura on Sept 16, 2004 13:58:52 GMT 10
lolz, agree with the teacher. ^_^" admit...kinda odd bout writing a poem bout 'sorta' giving birth. lol. It's like, push push push! lol. ^_^" But, I liked it. lol
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Post by Chibi Jen on Sept 16, 2004 19:16:02 GMT 10
OMGoodness ^^;; That's actually quite funny when I finish reading it, and finally realising it was a baby being born..lol I agree with sakura.. the "push push, push" is quite funny.. quite original in my opinion You're creative.
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Post by sailorfire on Sept 16, 2004 21:19:21 GMT 10
awesome!!!*gives DIGILEE a cookie!(::)*
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Post by Digital Leonardo on Nov 7, 2004 17:46:02 GMT 10
My teacher told us to "Write about a women" she said anywomen... so I did this. I think you may know who it is... I wrote this in 10 min... I don't even think it makes any scense AT ALL. My hands are cold My eyes are falling asleep My tears run by As the moonlight shines
And we know that we will Make it through the night And we know that we will Never give up the fight And we look up at the stars And we see what we believe A girl dressed in Orange Silk
She flew by the moon She flew past the stars She used the light to help To help save the night
Cause she was a Girl in Orange Silk Her hair was golden blond As she hummed a song
About a time ago The world was going show And the moon it glew to bright As the darkness took over the light And it was the girl The girl in Orange Silk She was the girl The girl in Orange Silk
And she fought along the night sky Along the white moon Cause she was the girl Inc Orangec Silkc Teacher Comment: 'Try not to repeat as much as you do, try to keep it simple for small assiments given during class'
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Post by Chibi Jen on Nov 8, 2004 10:08:06 GMT 10
hehe.. that's kinda good for something 10minutes Like ur teachers said, a little repititive, but I think it makes a good rhythm ^_^
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Post by Digital Leonardo on Nov 8, 2004 10:11:49 GMT 10
Can you guess who it is? Who is the women in orange silk with blond hair? ;D
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