What's in my head?

[Ryohei]

I hate poetry at times. heres one of the few things youll ever get from me


What's in My head?

I lay up night, thinking and pondering
But i know it's not becuase of fright
What will happen tomorrow
What has happened today

All these things, they ravel through my mind
I want to know everything
Yet i want to know nothing at all

My thought they ruin my life
They ruin my very being
They bring me down mroe then anything
And ruin my happy feelings

At night when one is awake
IT seems so cold and alone
The darkness seems to envelop thee
Abnd the coldness isnt slow to follow

It hurts to be inside, It hurts so much to think
To think of things that could have been
and to think of the things that will be

The decision you make in one simple day
Were they the right or the wrong ones
Did you handle it to the best
Or did you ruin it for the both of you

What did you do that was so bad
Why must their be a misunderstanding
Now im awake in bed
Thinking of all the wrong i've done

I don't know what to do
I don't know what to say
I know how you feel inside
Yet i can't do a thing to help

I don't know how to say im sorry
sorry for all those things i've done
I know you've felt bad for them
Becuase I've felt the same

I felt awful, my soul tearing to peices
LIke a part of me is gone
Like a part of me is destroyed

It seems like life won't go one
It seems like nothing will ever be the same again
For i always hurt the ones i love
And i can never make amends

I take the pain in myself
become bitter to everyone else
I feel so empty inside
I feel so souless inside

What can i do
What can i say
I don't want to continue on
I just want to edn it

I want to die
I want you to forget me
Iwant you to forget you ever heard my name
Maybe that way it would all be

Maybe this way you could live on life
Maybe this way you could be happier
By never knowing me then perhaps you could have been happier

I've only been a hindrance
I've only been a liability
never being to help
Always standing by and watching you in Pain

What can i do?
How can i help?
I don't really know anymore
I dont know anything anymore

I lay up at night thinking these things
Never knowing what to think next
Am i right for you?
Was it worth it to get to know you?

Perhaps i should have left you that one time
Perhaps we should not have returned to each other
Perhaps i would have been happier
Perhaps you would have been as well

I will never know
I cannot change the past
Sometimes i can't please you
As much as i want to

Perhaps i love you mroe then freind
perhaps i dont
Either way i think of you
Night after night

Each night it could be the same
Another something different
How to make you happy
How to make you like me

Sometimes i wish i ahd the anwsers to my problems but i never do
I fear facing you tomorrow
I fear seeing you again
I dont know how it will go
Nor do i know how it will end

Will it be happy?
Will it be sad?
Will it be nothing at all?

Either way i have no idea
Either way i do not know at alll
Either way i see it i try to think
Of how it will happen

Why can't i decide what to do
Why do i have to be so indecisive
you gave me a chopice and i can't take it
becuase etiher way someone gets hurt

I woudl rather hurt myself then another
I woudl rather kill myself then hurt another
I don't want to cuase pain to anyone
I just want to be accepeted

I want to feel like im aprt of soemthing
i want to feel like i belong
I only want to feel the warmth of freindship and compassion
I want to experiance this

I want to feel the warmth of love
I want to feel that feeling of being wanted
Like life couldnt go on without you
Not that it it quickens without you

When you said thsoe words to me i shrugged them
But they really hurt me inside
Hurt me to much
Hurt me so badly that i can't take them away from me

You gave me hope at one time
But that hope turned to doubts
Which made me think of wether it was right
wether im right for you
Wether this is right at all

I dont know what to do anymore
I dont know what to think
I can't get these crazy thoughts out of my head
I cant contorl them anymore

I am going insane from them
Even my sleep is restless
But i continue and the enxt day i wake up
And continue these thoughts once more
As the night approaches me again

[Chibi Jen]

Nice poem Ryohei. Nice to see you start to post poems here. ^^This is probably the only thing we'll find out about this mysterious person. Good job

[Ryohei]

I feel a need to post this for someone i know


When shall we meet again


It seemed so long ago
We had had that fight
Perhaps i was the one who was wrong
Perhaps it was me who was bad

I'm sorry for doing anything that hurt
It wasn't intentional that was for sure
I never meant to hurt you
In no way at all

The truth was that i was afraid
Afraid of what might be
Perhpas it was stupid of me to think that way

BUt what is done is done
I await for you to be seen
In hopes that i can see you again
And say how sorry i am

[Chibi Jen]

^_^ That's a very sweet poem Ryohei. I hope you and this person will meet once again.

[Ryohei]

Ignorance

When I look at you that way, how do i know
Are you looking back at me in the same?
I look at you with my loving eyes
Wondering if your looking back with yours

I'm not smart enough to relize it on my own
I need your help to tell me
Do you feel the same as I do for you
Or is it one-sided for me

I love you, yet i can't say it
I do not know how you would react
I am scared with what your anwser might be
And on how I would react to what you would say

I wouldn't know what to do
It would put me in shock
Either of joy of saying yes
or of sadness saying no

But it's worse to wonder
It's worse to think
It's worse tonot know
It's worse to ponder

So just do it
Just say it
Don't let fate be the judge
Make it yourself and decide for yourself

Who it is to be with
Who it is you need
For if you never ask and never know
You will never know what you may have missed

[Ryohei]

This is why i lose my feelings for writing.


When the wind blows


When the wind blows for a dead warrior, does anyone know his name?
Does anyone care for the solider who gave his life for you?
Does anybody care he had a home, a family, and a child?
Sadly not becuase the wind blows not his name or his deeds, but only what he did not do

[Chibi Jen]

*sniff sniff*....very sad poem....

[Ryohei]

Watching

I watch as his hands carress your skin
As his lips brush on yours
His hands move down your head
His eyes gaze into yours
That looks he gives to you
I cannot stand to see it on him
It is more then i can bare
I see the look you return to him
I feel my heart betray myself
I hope to never see that again
For it would tear my soul apart

[Death Soldier]

Nice poems Ryohei- I really like your poem :"When the wind blows"...it's a good one.

[Chibi Jen]

You are a really creative writer. There's always a nice rhythm in it, and it expressed a lot of emotion