my thoughts, put in story form.

[sailorfire]

Chapter 1: I am trapped within myself
Note: this is what I feel sometimes. Hopefully, someone can sympathize with this…
Note: it short, but it shows my thoughts well.
I am trapped in my own head… it only allows tales of betrayal, sadness and anger out, but what of those of loyalty, joy and serenity?
Perhaps it was because I was mocked all my life for my strange behavior. But then again, I was always told by adults that I saw something in things that others did not see.
I did not get them then and even, now…today, I still do not understand…
Am I a prisoner of my own thoughts and head? Why do I write about treachery, misery and rage when I could write about fidelity, happiness and tranquility?
I feel like I should not be mortal… but this shell, this vessel… my soul is in…
I can not escape it, my loyalty, happiness and serenity is locked within; all I write about is about dishonesty, melancholy and rage…
My thoughts laugh at me, like a madwoman of evil and cruel envy. It boils, it snarls and tells me that stories of happiness and loyalty and calm are rarely accepted by many… I sob and wail, but no one hears me… because I am trapped in my own head…
My head has betrayed me; all I write is by the control of my thoughts…
Why does not anyone understand…? Why? My thoughts laugh at me again…

[FAN]

Why is your thoughts laughing at you? How could you detect betrayal by your own head, do you not consider your mind as yourself? Oh no, I should stop... you probably won't appreciate a philosophical metaphysical discussion here.

Yeah, well, I laugh at myself from time to time.. hehe.. and I complain about things I don't like and write about my anger all the time. It's like the negatives always comes out yet my positive side is hidden.

[sailorfire]

That was what i felt at the time and i thought that it might lead to some inspiration... and um, thanks for responding... I suppose...

[Sakura]

well, I can kinda relate. Sometimes, if you just feel really deeply about something, you have to either put it in words, in art, or in music. In your case, it's in words.

My head has betrayed me; all I write is by the control of my thoughts…

I didn't quite get that part...XD Care to explain it to me please? ^^"

[sailorfire]

sometimes when i want to write something positive; I have no clue as to why my head suddenly fills me up with morbid and sad thoughts... real wierd...