Shaddows poems

[ShadowSpinner]

I was scared of the world. I hid myself away. I called no name. I closed my eyes and rememberd the adventures i could not have. I was in the darkness of my soul but now im not sure. The world rejected me. It pushed me away. I reached out my hand , and the world swatted it hard and fast. If i cant be in this world, then ill make my own. For me myself and I,

[PayPay]

It was a very good poem! ^___^
You seem to write poems like mine...
It doesn't always rhyme. XD But eh, poems aren't always about rhymes so if someone tells you, "IT DOESN'T RHYME."
Tell em' that there are plenty of famous poets out there that couldn't rhyme if their life depended on it. XD

Good work, Shadow!

[ShadowSpinner]

Thank u so much!

[Sakura]

PayPay said:

It doesn't always rhyme. XD But eh, poems aren't always about rhymes so if someone tells you, "IT DOESN'T RHYME."

I agree with PayPay, but you might want to think about spacing the wording out. Since as...it still is a poem. ^_^"

[ShadowSpinner]

No one backed me up.

They cornerd me.

They shouted at me.

They threw things at me

They spit and coughed.

I sat there and stared.

I dident move
I dident cry
I dident even breath.

I just looked for my friends. But they werent there to back me up.

Insteads they laughed.

[Sakura]

Wow, that's so mean...
It's good. ^_^"

[PayPay]

Yeah... I'd spit on my friends if they laughed at me in a position like that.

[ShadowSpinner]

I was lost

In my mind

In my heart

But my soul felt diffrent.

I felt alive

I felt free

I felt wanted

I felt complete silence.

I made me eyes move.Up, down, right, left

I was lost in this story

In this adventure

In my book

The one i wrote

the one I created

with my soul

with my heart

with my mind

with the best part of me..my imagination

[PayPay]

^___^ Verrry awesome!

[ShadowSpinner]

thank you!!!! *^_^*

[ShadowSpinner]

wind
It pulls be back and lets me fly

Fire
burns my fears and sorrows away

Water
Flows through my hair and worries washing it away.

Earth
Helps me stand and be strong. Grows the things that help me live

there is one more element. Its invisable and everyone has it. every night

everyone has dreams
dreams
Make me run and jump and laugh. they make me me and no one else.

[Chibi Jen]

Some interesting ideas Good job.

I agree with PayPay, but you might want to think about spacing the wording out. Since as...it still is a poem. ^_^"

Yeh, I agree with Sakura. In your first poem, it doesnt have verse and stanzas, and more like a paragraph of thoughts.

[ShadowSpinner]

yah i kno. I was in a rush to do something and i wanted to write that down. 

[ShadowSpinner]

I am so crowed yet so alone
I cant see the truth in your eyes if there closed
I cant hear your words if your mouth doesent open
I cant read your mind if you dont give me a chance

Dont you trust?
Dont you want me to understand?
Dont you want my help?

Im just so scared that you might leave me behind
Im afriad you'll get mad or alone

Im so crowded yet so alone
I cant see the truth in your eyes if thier closed
I cant hear your words if your mouth doesent open
I cant read your mind if you dont give me a chance

you cant feel my soul if you dont let me feel yours...

Dont you trust?
Dont you want me to understand?
Dont you want my help?

Im just so scared that you might leave me behind
Im afriad you'll get mad or afriad

[gekogoth009]

great job