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Post by Chibi Jen on Oct 5, 2005 9:35:01 GMT 10
I agree with SC! This poem is really really sweet ^.^ I particularly liked this stanza:
Nothing you say will change the way I feel These feelings inside are just to real You don't know how much I want you to know The truth in my heart the love I bestow
Great job, and nice to see your poems again ^_^
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lilith
Chibi Guardian
Poky!!!^o^"
Posts: 69
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Post by lilith on Oct 5, 2005 10:42:54 GMT 10
Thank you so much for your comments! I worked really hard on this poem.
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lilith
Chibi Guardian
Poky!!!^o^"
Posts: 69
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Post by lilith on Oct 5, 2005 21:40:54 GMT 10
OK. I need advise desperately. I'm working on a poem and I got stuck because I cant think of a word that rimes with beaches. Can you think of any? (apart from peaches and leaches)
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Post by Sailor Comett on Oct 6, 2005 3:26:16 GMT 10
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lilith
Chibi Guardian
Poky!!!^o^"
Posts: 69
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Post by lilith on Oct 6, 2005 8:14:06 GMT 10
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Post by Sailor Comett on Oct 8, 2005 8:39:52 GMT 10
Great, look forward to it! poetry.com is a great site, I'm doing a writing course at uni, and even I refer to it ALL the time to find rhymes! Can't wait to see what ur cooking up!
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lilith
Chibi Guardian
Poky!!!^o^"
Posts: 69
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Post by lilith on Jan 6, 2006 13:42:13 GMT 10
My latest poem was inspired by one of my best friend's story. In her (Tina's) story, there are 2 brothers who were separated in their child hood when a conflict between their parents occur. They meet again about 20 years later. But not the way they planned. they meet again in battle, in the middle of the war. Only to find that they are on opposite sides and must battle against each other. Well, here goes.
Oh God dear brother! What have you done??!!! You sold your self to their side And with them become one
It's been years sense I last saw you I don't know how you grew up The things they put you up with Nor the way you felt and thought
Too long it's been Sense I last saw you smile And now I face you here Forced to fight with out trail
Fate brought us back together But not the way it should My prayers answered twistedly Now I wish it never could
I know this is wrong But what can I do? Should I fight for what I love? Or should I face you to my doom?
So many questions rushing through my head Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Or the opposite instead?
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Post by Chibi Jen on Jan 6, 2006 21:37:38 GMT 10
*claps* Thats a pretty good poem with a nice ring to it ^^ Great job.. though I think u meant 'since' instead of 'sense' ...
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Post by Sailor Comett on Jan 6, 2006 21:49:33 GMT 10
No way! Lilith I LOVE that poem! Such a great topic to write about, fighting against your own flesh and blood! I particularly like the last 2 lines: 'Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Or the opposite instead?' Well done, really, well done!!
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lilith
Chibi Guardian
Poky!!!^o^"
Posts: 69
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Post by lilith on Feb 11, 2006 16:22:46 GMT 10
The other day in my English class we read a piece written by Laura Williamson. The teacher told us to write a letter back as if we were the father.
Here's her piece:
Do you remember ten years ago- Flying my plastic kite at the park, buying my shiny red trike' And the sweet, sticky pancakes you made me, every Sunday morning? You were my hero, Father, and I was your friend.
I don't remember when we changed- But we no longer trust The breezy laughter of yesterday. Our happy, blind rapport did not outlast my youth. I learned to look elsewhere, while you, you looked away.
I grew up Father, and I guess you just grew old.
Here's my answer:
Dear Daughter'
Yes I do remember How could I forget? You were the light in my life And yes I do regret
I regret that we grew older That time tore us apart That I'm no longer you're hero And away you staid from my heart
Dear daughter please forgive me I never meant to hurt you so You are still the light in my life And proud of you I'm so.
I only had about three minutes to write it so I know it's not that good,but I still hope you liked it.
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Post by Chibi Jen on Feb 11, 2006 16:49:14 GMT 10
3 minutes? Thats still pretty good... I wouldnt even know how to respond back..esp as a poem ^^;; Nice to see stuff coming from u again
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Post by Starlightprincess on Feb 12, 2006 9:21:39 GMT 10
good poem ^.~
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lilith
Chibi Guardian
Poky!!!^o^"
Posts: 69
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Post by lilith on Mar 27, 2006 5:40:46 GMT 10
I wrote this one last night(or rather this morning). I finished it at 1:45 in tha morning after watching "Dead Poet's Society" with Robin Williams. I't was really good.(it made me cry) So, here it is: It is that I love you the reason why I must deny you. The reason we must part and the reason on which I must reject you with every fiber of my being. For as I have been told many a times. “Love that never told can be”. My love for you is undeniably strong. It is in fact so, that my love for you will never perish in my heart. My love is like a burning flame of unlimited passion that will never cease to exist, even if it is met with the fiercest of winds or the dampest of rains. And yet, even if my unchanging desires for you shall never perish, still I must bid you adieu. For no matter how strong the will to love you is inside my heart, I know that if I reach far enough into the depths of my soul the truth will be found. A tragic truth, which I know, even the strongest of loves cannot change. The undeniable reason that tears me from you. The reason is, you are now my dearly departed. Hope you like it.
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Belldandy
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Post by Belldandy on Mar 27, 2006 20:43:53 GMT 10
It's strong. It does make me wonder how a situation would become like this... hmm...
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lilith
Chibi Guardian
Poky!!!^o^"
Posts: 69
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Post by lilith on Mar 28, 2006 9:46:39 GMT 10
Well, maybe if the person who wrote it(person#1) was passionately in love with that person(person#2) and person#2 felt that way too. But person#2 had a disease that was slowly killing him/her and person#1knew this. So person #1 decided it would be best if they did not start anything sense they both knew that even if they did love each other, love was greater than any thing in this world and that love could overcome any obstacles. Anything, except death. I guess this could kind of be a letter written after person #2's death.
The truth is, this just came to me. But I guess it would be a good idea for a letter after death written by person#1.
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